This has been a long coming post, but it's one I've always been a little bit scared to write.
However, I decided it's time to face the facts – I'm hoping I'll find other people in the same situation.
I don't have a lot of friends, I never have had, and it's okay.
It may sound sad at first, but I'm really alright with it.
I think it started back in school where I would always be the third wheel of a friendship, or the one no one would bother texting or call to make plans with.
All my life I've always been the one asking people to hang out, trying to fit in groups where I clearly didn't belong.
It's not easy feeling unaccepted and excluded from everything or everyone and it does play on your confidence and future relationships.
I've had friends who stuck by only for a limited amount of time before realising I wasn't the sort of friend they were looking for.
With this I'm not saying I don't have any friends. I do have a handful of friends and I consider them my second family – but I've recently realised having just a couple of friends is better than having loads.
I now know who my real friends are, who to simply consider an acquaintance and who to avoid. Having this amount of friends doesn't bother me, it made me who I am now and I'm happy.
I still have problems when it comes to relationships, I tend to get quite paranoid and start panicking because I often think it's not gonna last and they're going to move on like the rest of them did in the past.
I am writing this to let you know it's okay to not have a lot of friends. It's okay staying at home instead of going out because you don't have people to go out with. It's okay spending time by yourself.
Don't forget you're the most important person in your life and friends are just there to help you figure out how special you are.
I've lived almost all my life thinking I wasn't good enough for people, I now have everyone I need and I couldn't be happier about it.
It's never about the numbers, it's always about the quality.
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